


My Letters to You

by AzDaisy25



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anorexia, Anorexic Levi, Bottom Levi, Bulimia, Bully Erwin, Bullying, Cutting, Cyberbullying, Depressed Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Depression, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Multiples Mpreg, Other, Pregnant Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Pregnant Sex, Seme Eren, Sleep, Suicide Attempts, Suicide Notes, Top Eren Jaeger, Triggering book, Uke Levi, Will be more tags., Yaoi, ereri, some smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 05:27:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9975914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzDaisy25/pseuds/AzDaisy25
Summary: Levi and Eren have been married for two years and are planning on trying for a baby soon. But Levi's anxiety and depression get the best of him and he tries to commit suicide. The reason behind this... well... Eren's still investigating that.





	1. Prologue: The First Attempt

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, it's me again. I hit writers block for my other book after I, well, landed myself in a mental ward. I hope that y'all are doing okay. *gives u cookies*
> 
> anyways, triggers ahead.

~Levi's POV~

I wiped my tears as I signed the letter and folded it. I was going to do it.

I was finally going to kill myself.

I pick up the lovely orange bottle that held the key to ending my life and opened it, gazing down at the white tablets that were nestled into the bottom.

"Goodbye." I whisper, kicking the pills back and swallowing them with some water. I then laid down on the large bathroom floor and cried as I slipped out of consciousness.

 

~Eren's POV~

"Levi! I'm home!" I call. I waited a couple minutes and didn't get a reply. Odd. he has been acting a little... distant lately. SHIT! The realisation hit me like a freight train (A/N I just love trains).

"LEVI!" I shout, running up the stairs quickly. I saw a paper on the bed and unfolded it, expecting a note that said he was at the store but what I read confirmed my suspiscions.

'Dear Eren,

     If you are reading this I am more than likely dead. I'm sorry but I just couldn't bring myself to live anymore. I love you and always will.

With Much Love,

      Levi Jaeger.'

I shouted in anger, hurt and emotional pain and threw the letter down, running to the bathroom where I found an unconscious Levi.


	2. Chapter 1: Don't Leave Me Levi...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnd here we are, another chapter. (I started this at the DMV while my dad does paperwork. I'm the bored)
> 
> AANNNNNNNNNNND I GET HOME TO FIND OUT MY loVELY WOR WASN"T SAVED.FUCK.

~Eren's POV~

I ran into the bathroom and dropped to my knees, a sob escaping my throat. I gently picked up Levi, holding his frail body to my chest.

"Levi, baby, wake up.... please." I plea, crying as I lifted him from the ground, running to the car. I put him in the passenger seat of he car anf buckled him, then climbing into the drivers seat and buckling before I drove off s quickly as I could without breaking the laws. Once I arrived at the ER, I got Levi otu of the car and quickly carried him inside.

"Ma'am, can you please help me? My husband overdosed on sleeping pills." I say, sobbing hysterically.

"When did this happen?"

"I don't know I j-just got home from work."

"Okay. what is the patient's name?"

"Levi. Levi J-Jaeger..."

"Okay. right this way." She says, leading us to a room. I followed, laying Levi on the bed gently. While the nurse hooked him up and checked his vitals, she explained everything to me and had someone escort me to the waiting room while I waited for his stomach to be pumped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple hours later, a doctor walked out with a clipboard.

"Mr. Jaeger?" he calls. I stand.

"Yes?!" I ask, wanting to be informed right away.

"He's fine. Luckily you got there only a few minutes after he lost consiousness so the drugs didn't have time to go into his system." I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Any buts?"

"But you have to keep a good eye on him for about a month."

"I plan to. i've already called into work."

"That's good. He's in recovery room number 104."

"Thank you so much for saving him doctor."

"You saved him sir by bringing him here." I smiled softly.

"How could I not've? He's the only thing I have." I whisper, then going to Levi's recovery room. I walked up the three flights of stairs to recovery and went to room 104. I walked in and found Levi laying in the bed, his eyes shut as he slept, soft snores escaping his partly opened lips. A small smile graced my lips and and I walked to him, pressing a kiss to his pale forehead. He grunted, his black eyelashes fluttering as he opened his eyes.

His silver eyes widened when he saw me hovering over him.

"Eren?"

"Yes baby?" I reply softly, caressing his cheek when he started to cry.

"Why? Why'd you save me?" I kiss away his tears.

"Levi, baby," I sit on the bed and pull him into my arms. "You're the only thing I have left anymore. I-I couldn't lose you." I whisper, stroking his soft black locks. He weakly hit my chest as he sobbed. I let him hit me until he was a hiccuping mess, then I kissed his cheeks.

"Levi Jaeger, you mean the world to me. And I'm so glad to have been married to you for two years. Please... _please_ do not try that again. Please." I beg. He saw my tears and wiped them away with his small thumb. I smiled softly.

"I won't. J-just please... forgive me."

"I already have." I whisper, kissing his nose. He blushed brightly.

"Eren?"

"Yes?"

"When I get discharged, I want to try for a baby." And that's when I choked on my spit.


	3. Chapter 2: Trying...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BUTTSECKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

~Levi's POV~  
~When LEvi's discharged~

I kissed Eren sloppily, moaning and grunting softly when he pinned me roughly to the bed, his hands gripping my scarred wrists. I lean up and lick his jaw, causing him to let loose an almost predatorial growl.

"Be gentle please, my wrists aren't fully healed..." I whisper. He nods and removes our clothing quickly, revealing his partially erect cock. I immeditely leaned forward and started to lick it hungrily, loving his groans as his cock grew fully erect.

"Levi, oh gosh Levi you're so good at this." He groans out when I deepthroat him. I hummed softly, sending light vibrations down his stiff cock. The long, nimble fingers of his right hand tangled in my hair while the ones of his left hand toyed with my entrance. I moaned as he did so, rutting back on his fingers as I wanted them in me.

I reached back to the nightstand drawer after pulling off of Eren's cock. I pulled out the lube and handed it to Eren. A low chuckle drew itself from his elegant throat.

"Ah, peach flavored, my favorite~" He purrs, applying a generous amount to his four fingers before pressing two into me. I moaned and arched my back. He slapped my ass with his free right hand.

"Suck me off my little slut~" I nod and do as he commanded, going back to deepthroating him and moaning. I almost gagged when his cock twitched in my mouth, but luckly I was able to supress my gag reflex beforehand. He pushed in his third finger, working me open for his monsterous cock. I moaned and pulled back, sucking lightly on the tip of his member, swallowing down the amount of pre-cum that had gathered at the slit.

"Shit Levi~" He purrs when I move to fondle his balls while still sucking on the tip.

Meanwhile, Eren had added his fourth finger, making tears prick my eyes but I ignored it. I've waited so long for this moment. Just then, he found it. My back arched, forming an upside down 'U' shape while my toes curled into the sheets. My body was racked with spasms as I orgasmed, my elbows and knees feeling week from supporting my body.

"No dropping out yet Levi. Lay back." I did as told and spread my thighs quickly to let him in between them. Eren crawled forward and aligned himself.

"Ready baby?" I nod.

"What?"

"Yes daddy st-stop teasing baby please!" I whimper out. Eren smirked at my plea and shoved himself into me all at once. A shrill scream of ecstacy ripped itself from my throat as my back arched, being supported by only my elbowes and shoulders.  Eren took this opportunity to play with my nipples, pinching one gently and tugging it lightly while he sucked on the other one.

Heavy pants and high-pitched moans filled the room as Eren worked us both to our orgasms. I came all over my chest while Eren buried himself deep inside me and came heavily, his seed filling me  to the brim. After a few moments to catch his breath, Eren pulled out, laying down and pulling me close.

"I'll work hard to get you pregnant Levi. I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. I put a lot of effort into this chapter and read a lot of smut fics over the past few days to get it this way. Luv y'all, bye.


	4. Chapter 3: The First Sign

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I got a laptop. I'm not writing this on my tablet anymore. Whoo! Go me. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter.

~Levi's POV~  
~Two months later~

I sighed and rolled over in bed. I love waking up net to Eren but today and every weekday was different. The bed was empty and my stomach was churning. I bolted out of bed and groaned, running to the bathroom before throwing up.

"Urrrgh." I groan, holding my churning stomach. 'could this be a sign? Am I pregnant?' I think, then throwing up again. Once the out of sickness passed, I leaned back against the cool tile of the bathroom wall, panting. I stood on shaky legs, holding my head when a wave of dizziness hit me. I crumpled to the ground to ride the dizziness out. I leaned on my knees, taking deep and steady breaths and letting nature take its course as the dizziness passed.

I soon stood and walked out of the bathroom, getting dressed in Eren's favorite red boat neck top that he loved when I wear it. He bought it for my 24th birthday. I also threw on a pair of black leggings which Eren also loved, mainly because it showed off my butt. I pulled on a pair of white socks and slipped into my shoes. I threw on Eren's hoodie and walked to the nearest drug store, buying a pack of three pregnancy tests. I then walked back home and drank about three cups of tea. 

After a few minutes I ran to the bathroom and peed on the three tests, laying them on a piece of toilet paper on the counter.

"Now all I have to do is wait 5 minutes." I whisper to myself, sitting on the toilet lid nervously. To think that three shitty pieces of plastic could determine mine and Eren's future. I bit my nails and checked my times. Three and a half minutes to go.

I tucked my hands into my armpits and rocked, biting my lip nervously. 'Ba-ding!' chimes my phone. Not my timer, but Eren, texting me to tell me that he probably wouldn't be home tonight due to a major problem at the office.

_Me: Okay, be safe Eren. <3_

I waited for his response, checking my timer. One minute, two seconds. One, zero, fifty-nine... 'Ba-ding!'

**Hubby: I will be. Don't do anything exciting without me. ;)**

I giggled at his text.

_Me: I won't. Trust me. :P_

'Beeeeeep-beeeeeep-Beeee-' I cut my alarm off, checking the test. All three were... positive.

I dropped to my knees and cried softly, cupping my face in my hands as tears made their way down my cheeks. 'Oh no what'll Eren think? That'll he think?' I think to myself, rocking back and forth. 'Ba-ding!' I checked Eren's message.

**Hubby: NVM, I'm coming home. Armin said he'd take my spot for today. Need anything while I'm on my way home?**

I shook, sniffling.

_Me: Um... tissues._

I send the message and wait for his reply.

'Ba-ding!'

**Hubby: Oh, baby, is something wrong? Why do we need tissues?**

I hesitated to reply.

_Me: I'll tell you when you get home. come home soon..._

Eren's reply was almost instant.

**Hubby: I'll stop by the store and get you a box of tissues. Anything else?**

I took a shaky breath.

_Me: chocolate... please._

I sniffled and sighed shakily. 'Ba-ding!'

**Hubby: Alright. Does it matter what form the chocolate is in?**

I giggled softly.

_Me: M &M's please hubby._ I sniffled and took shaky breaths to calm down. 'Ba-ding!'

**Hubby: Got them. On my way home. See you there babe.**

_Me: See you. I'm in our bathroom._

**Hubby: On my way up.**

I gathered the tests in my hands and hid them behind my back. Eren walked in the door and handed me the tissue box lovingly. He knelt down in front of me and rubbed my back. I took his hand in mine and slipped the tests into his hand.

"Levi, what..." He paused, seeing the positive tests. "Are these...?" A smile spread across his face.

"C-congratulations E-Eren... you're g-going to be a f-father..." Eren's large hands wrapped around my hips and he lifted me up, pulling me close to him.

"Is this why you were crying baby?" I nod.

"Why baby? This is great!" He says, setting me on the counter and touching my flat stomach.

"I-I was scared..." I whisper. Eren chuckles.

"I understand baby. It's okay to be scared."

"N-no Eren... I was sc-scared that you'd leave me..." Eren's gaze softened.

"Oh baby. I will  _never_ leave you. I've been waiting for you to get pregnant and... my wish has come true." I blushed and smiled, hugging him.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is folks, enjoy.


	5. A/N

I will not be updating for a few days/a week maybe. My grandfather just passed away and it's just very hard for me right now. I'm sorry. I'm bawling my eyes out right now and an barely see what I'm typing. I just need some time.


	6. Chapter 4: Ending the First Trimester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moody Levi coming right up!

~Eren's POV~

I awoke to Levi crying loudly and sat up, seeing that the window was open. I looked at the lump of blankets that Levi was hiding under and sighed. I coaxed him out from under the blankets and looked at his sobbing form.

"What's wrong baby?"

"THE WINDOW EATED MY PILLOWS!!" He shouts, crying. I walk to the window and look outside. Surely enough, all four of Levi's pillows were on the ground.

"Awe, my poor baby." I say, hugging him. He hugged me tightly.

"Eren, go save my pillows!"

"Why are they there in the first place?"

"I was mad at the window."

"Why?"

"It was making my side of the bed cold."

"Awe. I'll go save your pillows now." I say, going to get his pillows.

 

~Levi's POV~

I rub my small, developing bump and smiled softly, then frowning.

"Why do you guys make me so moody?" I grumble. Eren then came back inside with my pillows and dusted them off.

"I-I sowwy..." I whisper sad.

"For what babe?"

"B-being a p-pain in th-the b-butt."

"You're not a pain in the butt. You're just pregnant Levi. I understand that. Don't worry baby." He whispers, hugging me. I sniffled and hugged back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was around snack time and I was craving some Jell-O and thankfully my wonderful husband was willing to go out and get me some. I love him so much but I miss him right now. I rub my tummy, sighing softly. I hear the door open and shut and bolt down the stairs, hugging Eren.

"Whoa there baby... what's up?" He asks, rubbing my back gently.

"I-I missed you..." I whisper, a little embarrassed.

"I was only gone for ten minutes..." He whispers, chuckling a bit.

"I-I know... I-I j-just don't like being alone..." I say, starting to tear up. Eren sets the bags down and picks me up, sitting me on his hip. I kiss his cheek and hold on tight as he bent down to pick the bags up and take them to the kitchen. He sits me on the counter and sets the bags next to me, leaning in and kissing my baby bump. I smile and pet his hair, letting him rest his head on my tummy.

"You're such an amazing man Eren... I don't know what I'd do without you." I whisper, smiling as I grabbed a thing of blue Jell-O, eating it happily.


	7. Chapter 5: Midnight Snack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Smut Ahead. Don't like?! Don't Read!

~Eren's POV~

 

I woke up to a shock of pleasure coursing through my body. My eyes opened and I saw Levi on top of me, sucking my cock like there was no tomorrow.

"H-hi baby..." I whisper, then checking the time.

"Levi, it's two o'clock in the morning..." I sigh, rubbing my face he pulls off of my cock and I look at him.

"I-I know... I-I couldn't sleep..."

"So you decided to suck me off?"

"Y-yeah... you must've been having a sexy dream b-because you were already hard a-and your cock just looked so good... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay baby. I'm not mad. You can go ahead and finish." I say, kissing his forehead. Levi smiled and happily went back to sucking me off. i moan, tangling my fingers in his hair and bucking my hops up slightly. Levi pinned my hips to the bed with a dangerous look before deep throating me.

"Mnh~ Levi~." I moan, my cock starting to twitch as I neared my release. He only went faster, bobbing his head up and down quickly, sucking harshly the whole time.

"I-I'm gonna cum!" I warn. Levi deepthroats my cock and I moan loudly, cumming down his throat. Levi pulls off, swallowing every drop of my cum.

"Mmm. Thank you for the midnight snack Eren~" He purrs, kissing my cheek.

"No, thank you for that baby." I whisper, falling asleep.

 

~Levi's POV~

 

I whine when Eren falls back asleep, at a loss about what to do. I'm so fucking horny and I was his cock buried deep inside my ass. I remove my panties and slowly insert a finger into myself, moaning softly. I bite my nightgown to keep myself from being too loud as I move my finger slowly, rocking back on it a bit.

"Mmm." Eren hums in his sleep, rolling onto his side so his back faced me. I pout and add a second finger, moaning quietly. Soon, I had four fingers in my hole while my other hand wrapped around my cock, stroking it gently. But it wasn't enough, I want Eren inside of me and I want him  _now_. I gently shake him, causing him to wake up.

"What is it baby?" He asks softly, then seeing the position I was in.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. You got me off and I didn't even think to return the favor. What can I do to help you babe?" He asks softly, caressing my cheek.

"I-I w-want you to fuck me  _please_. I need your giant cock pounding into my tight little hole." I whisper, looking him in the eyes. Eren's eye widen.

"A-are you sure that's safe for the baby?" I nod.

"I-I looked it up yesterday." I whisper, blushing.

"Okay baby, whatever you say." He whispers, stroking his already hard cock.

"Gosh, the sight of you has made me so hard baby..." He purrs, kissing my neck gently.

"Lay on your back please baby." I do as told, laying on my back and spreading my legs.

"You're already nice and stretched for me baby..." He whispers, placing a kiss on my thigh. I nod.

"I-I was just so h-horny daddy~" I whisper. Eren groans softly, aligning himself with my hole before pushing in roughly. I mewl and grip the sheets with one hand, the other going to rest on my tummy. Eren lets me adjust before starting to thrust in and out of me.

"Eren~" I moan, gripping the sheets. He smirks and goes harder, ramming into my ass.

"Mnh baby, you're so fucking  _tight_." Eren groans, gripping my hips tightly as he thrusted roughly. I moan and scream once he hits my prostate.

"Looks like I've found it~" He purrs, hitting my prostate dead on with every thrust. I moan, nearing my climax.

"E-Eren, I'm gonna cum." I moan. He smirks, cutting off my release.

"Not until you say my name properly." He says darkly. I whine and moan.

"Daddy please let me cum!" I cry, looking him dead in the eye. He groans and strokes my cock, helping me over the edge.

"Eren!" I cry out with my release, my back arching up off the bed before I flopped back. Eren thrusts a few more times before thrusting in deeply and cumming heavily. He thrusts a bit more to help us both through our orgasms before he pulled out and collapsed onto the bed next to me.

"How was that baby?" He asks softly, cupping my face.

"Mmnh. Perfect _~_ " I mumble.

"Shower?" He asks. I nod. Eren chuckles and carries me to the bathroom, starting up the shower.

"Let's shower then I will change the sheets." He whispers, caressing my small bump gently.

"Sounds like a plan." I whisper, climbing into the shower. Eren climbs in after me and helps me to wash my body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was that. Do you guys want some more smutty chapters like this one or would you like to see some more fluffy scenes? Please let me know.

**Author's Note:**

> There's the first chapter. I hope you liked it.


End file.
